This girl is more easily done than said...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
