I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
