Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
