i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
