oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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