Do you still have your period?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the condom got lost in my hair
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
