i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
