I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
