and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
