Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
