Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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