Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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