their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize