he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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