Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
