he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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