tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
