Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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