all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
