His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
