You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
