my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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