Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
