So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
