we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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