New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
