watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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