he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
