I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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