doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
