I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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