omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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