Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm bleeding and have questions
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
