i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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