Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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