she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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