one two three fourrrrnication!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
