You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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