Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
