Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize