meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We left an ass print on the piano.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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