So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
