he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
