Whatcha textin bout Willis?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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