In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
