The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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