is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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