But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
