i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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