One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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