Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
