He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
