I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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