Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
