She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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