I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize