TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
