it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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