It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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