feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
