I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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