he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
