We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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