at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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