So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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