And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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